How to get over your ex by getting over yourself

Christian Jacques Bennett Blog

Are you feeling heartbroken?

Has it only just happened?

Or did it happen a long time ago?

First of all. Sorry. I know it feels like the end of the world. It isn't. You have my empathy and compassion.

If it has only just happened, a grieving phase is natural. You will need a bit of time to come to terms with things and hopefully move on in the not too distant future.

If you are ten years on from a break-up and still not able to get over someone, then this post will show you how to get over yourself.

Yes. You read that correct.

I did just say get over yourself.

Yes, I know. You thought my blog was about making you feel better... it is! Don't worry. Stay with me on this.

Let's examine what I mean by getting over yourself. I specifically am talking about the voice (thoughts) inside your head.

You know. The voice that when you are driving past a place will remind you of the good times you had with your ex and then just as quickly remind you that you are no longer with them.

The nagging voice on Valentine's day that loves to reminisce about how wonderful life used to be when you were with your ex.

It is the one that adjusts your memories until your ex is shining with a holy light because they were so utterly perfect and wonderful. The voice gets you to the point where just one thought of being without them is enough to make you weep. It then screams inside your mind - Why do I have to continue to feel such pain!? Nobody understands!!

Christian Jacques Bennett Blog

And let's stop right there.

Hopefully you can start to see what I mean by getting over yourself.

Who or what is that voice?

Do you have to listen to it?


Change the narrative. Burst that BS bubble of how perfect life was with your ex.

One tip that can help you do this (pop the BS bubble), is to actually find a recent photo of that person and look at it. Or better yet, go and speak to them in person.

By doing these things you will most likely realise that your ex doesn't have the sun shining out of their exterior.

You will realise that actually you are now a different person. Free to do what you want.

That voice in your head has been lying to you all along. You have wasted so much time. The heartache you felt was a self fulfilling prophecy.

The healthiest stage for you to get to after a breakup, is to be able to compartmentalise your past memories of your ex. Be grateful for having experienced life with them, but know that they have their place firmly in the past and not in your present, or future.

They were just a stepping stone to reach something better.

Right now is the time for you to experience something else. Or someone else.

So get out there. Mix with new people, or do some new hobbies, and let life water down the dreamlike BS-yearning for an ex which actually only existed inside a dream world in your mind.

Take control and get over yourself!

As always, my thoughts are with you, keep strong and have a great day. If you want to, please drop a comment below and tell me if any of this makes sense and or share your tips on getting over an ex.

Author: Christian Jacques Bennett

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Search Tags: Love, Relationship, Heartbreak, Emotion, Psychology, Pain

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  1. LOVE THIS POST! Not sure why but it had me laughing like a mad woman. My neighbors must think I've gone crazy for good this time. It is so true, your mind creates such deluded ideas of past ex memories. My advice is to get a cat!

    1. Thank you. I love the cat advice ... a dog is good too ;-)

    2. I did the same, couldnt stop laughing, but that's because I have moved on from my ex probably wouldnt have laughed earlier on, can I just add I got 2 cats and 1 dog and eventually a man :)

  2. I have found it really hard to get over my ex boyfriend. I see what you mean about how inside our brains we overthink things and they become very dreamlike. I keep remembering all of the good times with him and just can't move on. Interesting though when you say pop the bubble because I haven't seen him in months and maybe if I did I would see something real and different. For now I agree a cat is helpful in getting over heartache �� or at least forgetting about it when you are with them.

    1. Thank you for your comment, distraction is a great way to allow the brain to reset and get a new perspective.

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