This is why you should celebrate your grandmother's birthday when she is gone

I am so grateful...

Today (the 4th of July 2023) would have been my grandmother's birthday.

Her name was Jeanne Bennett (we called her Mamie). She was born in 1903. That would have made her 120 years old today.

She passed in 2000 and it seems incredible that she has been gone for so long.

But this is not a sad path that I am writing. No. This is a path of joy and gratefulness.

I have written before about superheroes being inside all of us. Grandmother's are a special type of superhero.

Grandmothers are an incredible role model for children.

Even though Mamie, my grandmother, is no longer in this physical world, she is very much a part of my life. My family's life.

Everything she embodied lives on in her family and keeps us strong and resilient.

I hope my brother won't mind, but this is what he wrote about her in a family WhatsApp chat this morning:

I really wish she was still around. She was such a kind, wonderful, courageous, brave and spirited lady - always with a lovely sense of humour. I often draw strength from her memory when I think back at what she triumphed over during her lifetime. We all owe her so much for the shape of our characters and the example of resilience and adventure she set - nothing was ever too much. 💗

And this is what my sister wrote:

Yes I remember her as always joyful. The laughs I used to have with her when we would sleep together at Tata’s (Mamie's sister). Tata would come in and tell us to go to sleep and stop laughing so much!! Then I had the same experience with her when we both stayed at Mary Gladys’ (my godmother) in her 90’s I believe it was. Can’t remember the dominoes but I do remember she would always cook my favorite foods when I came to visit her. Can’t believe we have been without her for so long. I had so much love for her I hated that every time I went to England I would only see her once or twice because of the distance.

My grandmother's values and nature has never stopped providing the love and support we all need.

And this brings me to today, her birthday, and why you should also celebrate your grandmother's birthday when she is gone (and of course whilst she is alive!).

I urge you to put the date in your calendar, and set a reminder so you never forget.

Use the day as a day of reflection, contemplation and guidance.

Specifically use their birthday to:

👣 Write down and talk to those close to you about what it is you love most about them. Did they have a good sense of humour? Were they a good listener? Did they give you the best hugs?

👣 Write down and talk to those close to you about what you are most grateful for by having known them. What positive qualities do you share?

👣 Use their birthday as a day to re-energize your values and goals in life. Do you need guidance right now with what you are doing? How would your grandmother tackle things differently? What can you copy and learn to help you?

👣 Take a trip down memory lane. If they have a grave go and visit it. Speak to them. Tell them how you feel. Graves should not be a somber place, they should be a place where you can talk freely and not be judged. You still can connect with your loved one and feel better for it.

👣 Treat yourself. Take the time to treat yourself. What meal would your grandmother love to eat? You can make it or go to a restaurant and order it.

Above all, your grandmother's birthday is a perfect day to fill your mind with gratefulness and the ongoing power of knowing your grandmother has your back and always will. How do I possibly know this? That's easy. I ask all grandmothers reading this to provide the answer to the following question:

Q: If you were to pass away tomorrow, would you still want to love and help your grandchild/ren with every fiber of your soul?

The answer to that will hopefully give you assurance that your grandmother, when she is gone, will still be loving you and supporting you through the good and bad times.

Lastly...

I just want to add some information about the black and white photo at the top of this path. That photo was taken during World War 2 in occupied France. Mamie is the third person from the left, on the front row, wearing a long black coat. She had been interned by the Nazis for marrying an Englishman. She had to raise my father in that camp, alone. She had nothing. They hardly had any food. In those tough years she would have found life tough and would not have imagined her grandson would be sitting at a screen and typing these words for the world to see. She survived the war and was flown to England in 1944 where she lived a very humble life, mostly in accommodation that comprised of just a few rooms. She never owned a car, she never learnt to drive, she never owned a house. She found happiness in the simple pleasures. Having a glass of red wine at lunch. Seeing her family on weekends. Watching the snooker. Playing cards and dominoes. Her spirit embodies the Tao Te Ching book I wrote and her actions have lived on through her family and continue to live on.

I just want to say thank you Mamie. I love you so much and ... Happy birthday!

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Christian Jacques Bennett

Please comment below on what you think about this path...

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Search Terms: Love, Loss, Heartache, Power, Belief, Pride, Joy, Upbringing, Parents, Grandparents, Granny, Nan, Nana.