My daughter failed her driving test today. It was made worse due to the fact driving tests are booked up until next year!
This is one of those moments in life when that ego voice inside your head really tries to bring you down. If you know me by now you will realise I believe that voice inside our heads is not actually who we are. It is simply a parasite that tries to bring you down whenever it can. I like to visualise it, make it physical, why? Let me explain why...
Imagine that instead of a voice inside your head, those thoughts appeared as a physical gremlin. Would you let that gremlin say things to you like:
- You are really ugly today!
- You are never going to get that job because you are not good enough!
- You are not goodlooking enough to get that person you fancy to go out with you!
- You will never pass that driving test, ever, just give up, you are useless!
Hopefully your answer is a whopping big NO!!! Hopefully you would get really angry every time that negative gremlin said anything bad to you. So why do you let that inner voice treat you that way? This is exactly what happens when you get emotional news, such as, you failed your driving test.
So the way you deal with that news is you get tough. You slap down that gremlin every single time it says something negative. You slap it down with a positive spin on what it is saying.
This is what I mean by "Positive Spin". If that gremlin says:
- You will never get another driving test now, you are going to have to wait ages! [Respond with: I love waiting! Waiting makes things better. Look how diamonds form, they are the process of thousands of years. Waiting gives me more chance to brush up on my driving skills.]
- You won't pass next time either! [Respond with: So what! Maybe I won't. This is all part of the process of learning something. One thing I can guarantee is if I never give up, I will pass eventually.]
- You can't drive to your friends now like you planned! [Respond with: I can still get to my friends, I will just walk! I will save myself a lot of money not having to buy fuel and save the planet's eco system. This is actually a great thing to have happened.]
- What will your friends say about you failing, they passed first time! [Respond with: True friends don't judge like that. True friends offer empathy and will make the situation better. This could be a great time to see who my real friends are, bring it on.]
Hopefully you get the message. Never let that inner voice gremlin bring you down. If it tries, use it's negativity to bring you up with positive spinning.
- You will never get another driving test now, you are going to have to wait ages! [Respond with: I love waiting! Waiting makes things better. Look how diamonds form, they are the process of thousands of years. Waiting gives me more chance to brush up on my driving skills.]
- You won't pass next time either! [Respond with: So what! Maybe I won't. This is all part of the process of learning something. One thing I can guarantee is if I never give up, I will pass eventually.]
- You can't drive to your friends now like you planned! [Respond with: I can still get to my friends, I will just walk! I will save myself a lot of money not having to buy fuel and save the planet's eco system. This is actually a great thing to have happened.]
- What will your friends say about you failing, they passed first time! [Respond with: True friends don't judge like that. True friends offer empathy and will make the situation better. This could be a great time to see who my real friends are, bring it on.]
Hopefully you get the message. Never let that inner voice gremlin bring you down. If it tries, use it's negativity to bring you up with positive spinning.
I failed my car driving test twice before I could pass. My anxiety (the mental gremlin) got the better of me. I survived and look back now without any concerns, just annoyance that at the time I hadn't been told about positive spinning that mental gremlin away. I went on to pass my motorcycle and truck tests first time. Life is full of all kinds of outcomes, you have to learn to just go with the flow.
Naturally, sometimes when the bad news happens you need to process it for a short while, I would recommend exercise at those times. Run it out of your system. Then go and live life as you have done for all those years before the driving test ever became a thing.
Take care today.
Author: Christian Jacques Bennett*
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Search Terms: Driving Test, Failure, Mindset, ReThink, Learn, Positive Thinking, Positivity, Success.
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