Should we keep track of our age after 40?

Just being honest from the start. I have found my 40s to be the worst time of my life.

Ouch! I realise that doesn't sound a very positive start to what is supposed to be a positive post about ageing. 

Don't worry, your experience and perspective will be different. In my case my ex wife leaving me just before I was 40 didn't help start things off in a great way. Brexit and the COVID pandemic also haven't helped. Plus, the potential World War 3 that is brewing in the Ukraine is not helping to make this feel like the best decade of my life. 

However, in terms of being 40 and age concerns, these things would have made my 20s feel bad too. Any age. I'm sure infants in the Ukraine will be saying their first 10 years have been tough.

With regards to age, for me it is also worth pointing out that I have never thought my life would start until I was 50. Honestly, that is true. I have had several palm readings which suggested my life changes dramatically halfway, leading to a golden age.

With my birthday coming up I am getting closer to that 50 mark and I am feeling excited and optimistic about right now and the future nows [sorry, I think I just made up that plural, hopefully Eckhart Tolle would approve - in fact I think his next book should be The Power of Nows].

Due to the latter I am getting more and more interested in what being old she's actually mean... 

I have often heard the expression, "Age is just a number". I didn't give it much thought until now. 

My 92 year old dad who has come to live with me during the COVID pandemic reminds me that age really is just a number once you are over 40. He is still able to walk around and cook and do everyday things. In stark contrast, I saw someone on TV the other day who was only in their 70s and had very bad health, they could hardly walk. Seeing that really focused me on the question:

"Should we keep track of our age after 40?"

Using The Four Agreements principles you should always be impeccable with your word. Words have power. Reminding ourselves every year that we are another year older does not seem the best way to remain forever young.

Just think about this for a second. Imagine right now if your parents contacted you and said you were adopted. Imagine if they then went on to say that there was a mix up with your birth certificate and you were actually ten years younger! I guarantee you would mentally start to think very differently about yourself. 

Listen to this video to hear what Eckhart has to say about how we tend to generally think about our appearance over time.

  

Eckhart also mentions how Western contemporary culture no longer reveres the elderly as it has done in the past. Real wisdom seems to have become forgotten [side note, this was why I rewrote the Tao Te Ching]. 

Getting old in Western cultures leans towards archiving older people into thinking they are not allowed to be young minded anymore. We should be supporting them to feel young not feel old.

"Time exists and doesn't exist. It exists on the surface of things but does not exist in the depth of yourself" Eckhart Tolle

At the end of the video, Eckhart stated the latter. This to me says that we should not keep track of age. Why does it matter whether someone says they are 42 or 56 or 71 or 98? Seriously why? Those ages do not tell you whether the 42 year old feels old because he cannot walk due to being a drug addict, versus the 98 year old who runs marathons and feels younger than ever. 

In fact, apart from perhaps needing to understand ages up until you finish schooling and knowing someone is an adult, why do we have to have any ages known? Maybe it should never start, or start at 21.

What do you think? 

I like the idea of stopping to know my age after 21, I would honestly feel so much better, freer. Life would become more mystical. Death would seem less of a destination coming towards me at a regular pace and more of a fact of life, a wonderful mystery, an outcome I do not need to be reminded of.

Vanity and Age

Vanity is a powerful tool to energise you to remain young. The great news is those over 40 in the modern world do not look their age. I remember when old people literally wore black all of the time.

We have some great role models. There are numerous people defying age. Look at Strauss Zelnick, for example. In this video he shows at 61 how you can look young and fit.  

What do you think about aging and labelling that age? Should we keep track of our age after 40?

As always, take care today. Thank you for reading, it really is appreciated.

Author: Christian Jacques Bennett*

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