Have you been in a situation when someone or something has upset you so much you wanted to lash out and scream with rage?
What about driving and road rage. Have you ever been overtaken by someone dangerously or someone has pulled out of a junction forcing you to slam the brakes on?
Maybe you have been in a relationship where your partner has betrayed you. How did - or would - you react to being told the person you love is with someone else?
The first natural reaction to someone upsetting you in these ways is anger.
However, anger is actually the wrong reaction.
Anger leads to hate and more hate and so on.
If you can teach yourself to replace the anger with understanding and kindness you will find your life transforms. The lives of those you are reacting to will also transform.
How do you teach yourself not to react angrily?
First of all, awareness is key.
Whenever you feel anger bubbling up, stop yourself. Ask yourself the following questions:
1. Can I walk away from the situation for a short while without making things worse? Sometimes putting space between you and the situation will dissolve any immediate feelings of anger and make you naturally see the situation in a more practical light.
2. Will I be proud of the reaction I am about to give? How many movie scenes have you seen of people being angry and breaking things, that kind of reaction never leads to any good.
3. If I have to get out my anger, where can I do so safely and what can I do? This one should be about being able to go for a run, sprint out your anger. Maybe go to the gym and punch a boxing bag. Find a healthy outlet for your anger.
4. How would others react, is there someone neutral you can talk to? Talking to someone different can help, ideally someone neutral and not someone who thinks as you do.
I realise that none of this is easy to do in the heat of the moment. We are programmed to react instantly with emotional knee jerk reactions. However, just because it is not easy, this does not mean it cannot be done.
If you can learn to be aware of your emotions and react in a more controlled manner, you will see a major change in your life.
Take care of yourself today.
Author: Christian Jacques Bennett*
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Search Terms: Control, Life, React, Mental, Health, Behaviour, Psychology, Mind.
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