Are you reacting the wrong way to situations

Christian Jacques Bennett Blog

Have you been in a situation when someone or something has upset you so much you wanted to lash out and scream with rage?

What about driving and road rage. Have you ever been overtaken by someone dangerously or someone has pulled out of a junction forcing you to slam the brakes on?

Maybe you have been in a relationship where your partner has betrayed you. How did - or would - you react to being told the person you love is with someone else?

The first natural reaction to someone upsetting you in these ways is anger.

However, anger is actually the wrong reaction.

Anger leads to hate and more hate and so on.

If you can teach yourself to replace the anger with understanding and kindness you will find your life transforms. The lives of those you are reacting to will also transform.

How do you teach yourself not to react angrily?

First of all, awareness is key.

Whenever you feel anger bubbling up, stop yourself. Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Can I walk away from the situation for a short while without making things worse? Sometimes putting space between you and the situation will dissolve any immediate feelings of anger and make you naturally see the situation in a more practical light.

2. Will I be proud of the reaction I am about to give? How many movie scenes have you seen of people being angry and breaking things, that kind of reaction never leads to any good.

3. If I have to get out my anger, where can I do so safely and what can I do? This one should be about being able to go for a run, sprint out your anger. Maybe go to the gym and punch a boxing bag. Find a healthy outlet for your anger.

4. How would others react, is there someone neutral you can talk to? Talking to someone different can help, ideally someone neutral and not someone who thinks as you do.

I realise that none of this is easy to do in the heat of the moment. We are programmed to react instantly with emotional knee jerk reactions. However, just because it is not easy, this does not mean it cannot be done.

If you can learn to be aware of your emotions and react in a more controlled manner, you will see a major change in your life.

Take care of yourself today.

Author: Christian Jacques Bennett*

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Search Terms: Control, Life, React, Mental, Health, Behaviour, Psychology, Mind.

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  1. I used to let my emotions have control of me. Alcohol made things worse. AA taught me to be aware and take a deep breath when I was angry, the breath acting as a reminder I was getting angry and should check my behaviour. At first it was hard to do but in time by being aware I was able to change my reaction from rage at someone to channelling it away. This has changed my life. I'm sorry to those I hurt before learning this. Age has helped too, when I was young it seemed much harder to control myself. I suppose it's like a habit, train yourself to not react instantly with anger and eventually you don't. God bless Mx

    1. Snap. Glad you are on track. I still find it hard but so much better than before. No drink for me.

    2. So glad this post helped and thanks for replying with such a detailed comment. Definitely agree that drugs do not help control anger. Take care today.

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