How do you heal a broken heart

Christian Jacques Bennett Blog
Suzy thank you for your question. Below is my response:
"My wife just left me for another woman. I'm heartbroken. When will I heal and what do I need to do to heal?"
Hi Suzy, so sorry to hear of your situation. Before I give my answer, I have to state that if you feel your mental health and life is at risk due to depression, then you should seek out expert advice from a qualified practitioner.
No matter how bad you are feeling right now, I want you to know that in a year's time you will not feel this bad. Some people are able to feel better a lot sooner. The healing process is different for everyone. Some people get over the pain after weeks, others may take a lot longer. Thankfully, because you asked me for some help, you will get over this more quickly.
First of all you must realise that because this is all fresh (aka it has just happened), feelings and emotions will be more intense right now. This is natural. You are normal. In fact, it is hard to not feel strong knee-jerk emotions, and if you don't, then, you probably didn't really care as much as you thought about your partner (which in itself helps you get through this breakup quicker). Therefore, you need time to process what has happened. You need to do most of the initial things you probably have seen in the Bridget Jones movies:

1. First try and talk to your ex, if you can, talk everything through. Be the bigger person. By talking you will start the healing process no matter how painful it will feel when they say things that you do not want to hear.

2. Secondly, have a good cry if you can. Get through as many tissue boxes as is needed until you feel like you can mourn no more. Note, you may need to take some time off work to focus on mourning.

3. Post ex meeting, get your friends around. Get some ice cream, pizza and a glass of something and talk with them about what is happening. Get everything out.

4. Exercise! Exercise is an antidote. Get yourself fit and healthy, feel great. Run off those painful thoughts. Hit out those memories into a punch bag. Feel powerful.

5. If your relationship really is over. I recommend you gather any object that reminds you of them and put it all in storage. Why? You do not need to be reminded and have that reminder trigger a self-pity party. Avoid reminders.

6. Learn to love yourself before you dive into another relationship. What do I mean by this? When you are in a relationship you are actually pretty limited in doing what you want most of the time. So now you are single, do things you want to do. Watch late night TV in bed, eat that food your ex hated you eating, go to museums and places your ex hated, give yourself a makeover and wear things you like to wear. Generally feel good about yourself. I know most people don't want to hear this but I also recommend you find your spiritual side, find faith in something, this will make you feel empowered wherever life takes you next.

7. When you are ready - but don't leave this too long - go out and discover that there is a life with other people out there. This doesn't mean online dating, necessarily, this can mean joining a group or gym class. Get out. Talk to new people. Flirt. Realise you are liked by other people and you like other people and who knows maybe you will fancy other people and sew the seed that you may want to start dating again. The other thing to do is travel. Travel does amazing things to your mind, in a good way. Travel Travel Travel!!!

8. Once you feel more confident, then perhaps you should go on dates. I would recommend they are fun and casual. And no that does not mean you have to sleep with anyone just for fun. It means you can enjoy the company of another and start to filter through people to see what type of person you like.
If you are still feeling gutted after a year then you must find some perspective that will ground your emotions. How? Ask yourself some obvious questions (you could do this earlier too). Do you want to be with someone who doesn't love you? No, of course not! Do you honestly believe in a world full of billions of people you cannot find someone better? Of course you can! Be honest with yourself, if you are living alone, you actually quite like it don't you? You like watching the TV you like, don't you? Eating the food you like, don't you? Keep asking yourself these kind of questions. Then softly slap yourself until you really drill it into your mind that you are doing fine, you survived, it was hurtful but life has no guarantees. Ultimately, if you feel pain then that is a scar that shows you have been loved, you won in life! You had a moment with the person you felt heartbroken about, now it's time for the next chapter of your life. YOU HAVE GOT THIS!

Seriously, you will be okay. Just like an illness, make sure you also take care of your overall health as soon as you feel heartbreak. Eat well, keep fit, socialise. You don't realise it but this breakup was a stepping stone to something you will get to, look back, and think OMG I am so glad this happened.
Take care today.
Author: Christian Jacques Bennett*

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Christian Jacques Bennett Books
If I could send 2 books back in time for my teenage self to read I would send these. In these two books you have the combined knowledge and wisdom of every single spiritual and self improvement book you can get your hands on .