Happy new year - Does it have to be

Christian Jacques Bennett Blog

Happy New Year!

Actually, thinking about it, does it have to be happy?

Why does humankind assume that being happy is the only state you must attain in life and especially at the start of a year.

Yin and Yang

Before we go any further, here is a great little video to get you up to speed on Yin and Yang:

Everywhere you look you will find the Yin and Yang in life (and death of course, well done). 

The New Year is no exception. Happiness is no exception. 

There is always an opposing side to something.

Some Yins and Yangs are easier to spot, others not so easy.

Where am I going with all of this?

Okay... Woah! First of all... deep breath. There is no hurry. I urge you to literally stop reading this post right now and just look around at your surroundings. Take a deep breath and take things in. Be present in your moment and find something to be grateful for being in it. 

Hmm - I know most of you didn't take a break but at least I tried - haha...

Where I am going with all of this is ... I want to take the pressure off you at the start of this New Year.

The pressure to always be happy.

As I am sure you know, if you never feel sad you would never feel happy. This is the Yin and Yang of happiness.

When you truly fathom this ancient wisdom you set your thoughts free from constantly chasing an impossible state of being happy all of the time.

How many YouTube ads are trying to sell you the non stop easy life. How many social media channels do the same.

The start of the New Year can easily seem all about getting that "Happiness" message out there as much as possible. Gyms offer discounts and say you will be happy once you change your body to look like Superman and or Wonder Woman - or both!? Amazon Ad Entrepreneurs show you how they left their boring job to live by a pool on a tropical island and now they are so happy.

It is all a commercial lie.

Everyone must experience unhappiness at some stage or discomfort. That in itself is a good thing!

Learn to embrace the times when you are not what you might call happy.

Perhaps it is a Monday morning at work when you wish you were lying in bed Saturday morning with nothing to do. Or maybe you are about to face a fear and wish you were safely back at home.

Whatever it is that is making you want to escape the moment. Learn to tell your gremlin thoughts to SHUT UP!

I know. I know. Those two words aren't very Zen are they - but they work! You need to snap yourself out of being in a manipulated impossible state of searching for happiness.

Be angry if you find your mind dragging you into a swirl of thoughts that are telling you that you are a failure for not being happy all the time. Don't let jealousy of someone else being in a situation you would like to be in drag you down.

So, to bring this post to a close. I genuinely want to wish you a very Un-Happy start to this New Year. One in which you know that by feeling that way, you are always in touch with happiness which is part of that feeling and moments of happiness will come around again. They are one and the same and you can enjoy both.

Take care of yourself. Positive thoughts are flying from me to you, this moment is exactly where you need to be.

Author: Christian Jacques Bennett

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Photo by Andre Furtado from Pexels


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  1. omg this is just what I needed !! ps got your book the other day and just reading through slowly each day.. really loving learning about the tao. Its helping me stress less about comparing myself to others and just going with the flow. Wishing you an unhappy new year too ;) Kx

  2. I learnt this lesson a while ago when I was going through some really serious grief. The world felt like it was never going to brighten up. It was something Eckhart Tolle said that made me rethink. He said that the sun eventually breaks through the storm clouds and that in between moment is what is most beautiful. In other words like you say here there is always another side linked to the sad feelings you are going through. God bless you.

    1. Trouble is how do you get to the positive happy side of things when life keeps throwing rubbish at you? You end up staying in the dark all of the time

  3. Thanks everyone for your comments. For those who are asking how do you get to the "happier" side faster. Well done - because - that is the point. You don't have to. Just feel complete knowing that there is a happy side connected (note sometimes you may never find it or know what it is). Do you want an example? Okay, so, imagine you are a Jew in WW2 Poland and the Nazi's are coming to take you to a camp. You have a child that you love more than life itself. You realise that you can get that child to someone who will safely look after them whilst you are gone. You managed to get them safely in their care before the Germans take you to a camp. You spend months in that camp being treated terribly and you know that treatment is unlikely to get any better - however - if you understand this Yin and Yang of life you also know that on the other side of all that pain you have a child who will live - a positive side to your situation that you do not experience yourself but through another. That comforting thought alone should be enough to help you feel content. Sorry it is probably a bad example but hopefully you understand. This is also very much about positive thinking.

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